A fine Saturday afternoon -started with a "Holy crap!! Its 9 a m, Oh Boy, I cant be this late to work!!, only to realize its a weekend,.. sleeping back to wake up late in the day for a brunch,.. planning for the ritualistic grocery shopping, a peep out of the window displays perfect weather outside, transitioning from the extreme Texas heat to the beginning of a mellowing fall,.. yet the predominant laziness to budge an inch away from my bed, settling with the laptop by my side, watching every possible show or movie.. and when hunger hits, not sparing a single shelf of the kitchen to find that last pack of Maggie noodles (when weekends are actually meant for cooking for the entire week).. Ah! Do I love Saturdays?

Well, who doesn't?

A Midsummer Day's nightmare!!

Another summer day! The only good thing is that the climate seems to be a bit more relaxed, compared to the past few days of scorching heat, when the temperature shot up more than a hundred Fahrenheit. A gush of pleasing breeze blows through my hair as i stand in my patio now. I look at the people on the street,.. some girls seem to be chilling out, with shopping bags in their hands, and their skin hardly covered . The UTD bus makes its everyday tour across the campus, carrying students to and from various places in the university and a small distance outside of it. I continue standing in my balcony, thinking of plans for the day. First thing that flashes in my mind is my lab work.. I need to code.. the errors in my Android program are calling me out aloud, to come and fix them. I then and there make a decision, that by tonight i should have the working code.

As i go back to the living room, my laptop awaits, with gmail, facebook and youtube being logged in. I try hard to look at some technical forums and make my code work, but hear a ping. Ah, a two minute break i think, which extends to half an hour!! Then lunch time.. Awww..got to cook :(. Delay that also, any constructive work is to be postponed! I stop doing everything for a moment and observe the show of things going on.

I feel like talking to someone..nobody seems to be free.. Its a weekday after all!
I am the only person who is so jobless.. or am i? No.. reality gnaws back at me.. i have so many things to do.. I work full time in this summer, and have two jobs to manage.. My part time dining job starts at 6 am the next morning. For the day to go on smoothly, i need a good nights' sleep so as to wake up at 5 in the morning, else the whole time goes in sleeping after being back from work. And before going to bed early, i have to stick to my decision of making my code work, which means i need to plunge into action right away instead of whiling away any more time. But I groan as the thought of works comes to my mind again. Why the heck am i so lethargic? Not cooking, not eating, not working! Any other thought of enjoyment, like going to a movie, watching videos, or even sleeping makes me feel guilty! But at the same time, am not working either! So hard to describe this situation! I bring the picture of my professor into my inner eye, who eagerly comes to the lab to see the progress on my project. I dont want to tell him anymore, that am still working on it, and i need some more time.. So many days have passed by..and am tired of telling the same thing over and over again. Yet, am so disgustingly stubborn to lift my buttocks, go to the lab and start working.

Some days are so packed.. Go directly from dining hall to the lab, with no time to even eat. I remember promising myself then, that given some more time, i shall make the best use of it..by finishing all my work, and then chilling out. But the work's still undone, how do i manage to even think of other enjoyment. Its bizzare.. I dont really while away time by either sleeping, or watching movies, or going out..but i do nothing constructive at home too. Sometimes, it gives me a feeling that i could have actually enjoyed and then only got back to work, instead of cribbing about guilt.

I finally decide i need to talk to someone to drift myself from this occasional feeling. Who else cares for you both through thick and thin? Parents of course. Ready to hear you whine..Give several alternatives although you dont listen to them, talk about how nothing can be achieved on an empty stomach, and hence advise you to give importance to eating well, staying healthy.. and the story goes on and on. One alternative caught my thought though. "Try going out somewhere with some friends...", my mom said.."You have never gone out of campus since months".. True, it was.. i had never stepped out of campus except for the barest minimum necessities of my existence here,(meaning grocery shopping.. to the same Walmart and Tom Thumb stores!!!). I try to recollect the last time i even took a train to go out a little further from the routine route that 883 takes! God, i dont even remember!

I then and there make a decision, that i will work whole of today, attend my dining job tomo, which would get over at 10:00 am and then be off to some place where i can find some change and comfort! The thought of going places excites me, given to the nature of being a go-getter. I start hunting for places of visit online. All these days, i was under the impression that Dallas is not a tourist place and there is nothing worth seeing. But Whoa!.. As i explore, i witness wonderful search results like Ripley's Believe it or not, Oklahoma's Turner Falls, Camping site at Arkansas, San Antonio's Sea world, ..all at a distance of a maximum of 3 to 4 hours by road.

I then and there make a decision again, that this being a long weekend(coz of July 4 celebrations), i must make it a worthy one by visiting some beautiful place and enjoying to the fullest. The thought of how most Americans enjoy their weekends, by working hard all week and relaxing completely on Saturday and Sunday fascinates me! I too want a change.. and this is the perfect time. Place can be decided, one out of the many i just saw..Car can be rented, to drive on .. But whom do i go with?Awwww.... Most fellow students of mine were in India, on vacation! Other people here are not that close to me. The ultimate goal of going on a trip should be enjoying in return to the money that we spend! Ah..I desperately wanted some good company now! Its might sound stupid, but i browse through my Facebook and GTalk friends' list,to look for people who can accompany me. No ideal candidate who is here and who would want to come could be found. Aaaaahhhhh! When there are no people to enjoy with, whats the use of planning!

I then and there make a decision not to while anymore time on this idea of going places and think about getting back to work again. Reality hits harder on my face this time. I can visualize Dr.Naurani's face when i fail to show him the output again! I sulk.., crib.., and whine.. again for having spent so much time planning something which ultimately ended up with no successful achievement. Its a biting real personification of Much ado about nothing! :( Why are there no friends around when i need them? Why am i so lethargic? Why is the day so boring? Why is it that i dont do anything inspite of having so much to do? Insane.. Eccentric.. Thats what i call myself as i step out to the kitchen with a final decision to feed myself and then start off with my lab work. Before i enter the kitchen, i urge to write this down since this is the only way i can communicate myself out and gain satisfaction thereof. I dont really know if this was also another half an hour of time spent worthlessly, but blogs are my method of giving way to pent up expressions held tightly within.

I strive now immediately to do something constructive for the remaining part of the day. Hoping to cook some delicious food, eat and run to the lab and get rid of all bugs in my code! As for the weekend..Back to square one..no plans! Will take it as it comes, or leave it for the Almighty to decide it for me :)

16th May 2010 - Akshaya Truthiya

Exactly a year back, it was the day of house warming ceremony of one of our neighbours. The house was beautiful, beyond words to describe it. The owner had used all kinds of artistic designs to make it look marvellous both from inside and outside. Added to this was the house warming ceremony decorations that included the traditional serial set lighting, the banana leaves "Chappra"and the eye catching Rangolis that made it look just perfect. And it was a sight to see the aesthetic tastes of the ladies dressed in their best silk sarees and the small kids running all over the house taking pictures in the newly built mansion.

I stood in our patio with my evening cup of tea, witnessing the happiness that lingered in the people on that occasion. What a joyous moment it was! Soon, my thoughts drifted away to our own house, that would one day have a similar occasion, at Rajeshwarinagar. Named aptly as "Sannidhi", it is now indeed a peaceful shrine for us, an abode with wonderful scenic beauty around, which makes it feel like Heaven on Earth! A better visualization for all those who have not seen it is provided through some pictures attached below.

Like every other house, ours also started from a barren piece of land to what now can be called as a bungalow with the most equipped amenities. Sannidhi stands out from others not by the number of floors or the costliest of marbles used to build it, but by the amount of effort each of us put in making our dream come true. This blog is a special dedication to dad, who spared no pains to visit the site twice each day, stand in the hot sun without caring for hunger or thirst and took all measures to supervise the workers. Secondly, although physically far from family, it was because of Chaitra that our dream is actually a reality now. It was because of her working day and night and helping us secure a financial debt that assisted in the first step to go ahead with the plan. And needless to mention, we are indebted to dear mom, who is the mistress behind all the managerial work of carrying out everything so successfully.

Sannidhi, as mentioned earlier is located in one of the most beautiful areas of Bangalore. As calm as a meditation hall of any ashram, our terrace is my favourite place where on one side, we can see the picturesque view of coconut trees of the adjacent Kala farm, and on the opposite end is the view of Omkar hills. There is a proposal to construct the Jyothir Lingas on top of that hill, which, I guess, would then make it even more famous. The Omkar Hills has a huge clock which strikes every hour, reminding me of the fact that time is so precious. Also worth quoting is the fabulous Shakthi hill resort, which i bet is an awesome retreat for everyone. It has in it the Aarmugam temple depicting the six faces of the Lord in different directions. This view is visible from "Happy Valley", along with the ISKCON temple that is under construction at Vasanthpur.

Added to this is the cultural paraphernalia of Rajeshwarinagar that includes the Rangamandira

and its adjoining mango groves. Even more beautiful is the breathtaking Nimishamba Temple whose Goddess Durga is believed to grant our desires each minute (Kannada word, nimisha, meaning minute). And how i could i even forget to mention the legendary RajaRajeshwari Temple which is the main reason behind Rajeshwari Nagar getting its name. This temple is one of the oldest in Bangalore, and the gold plated idol of the Goddess sits in Her holy shrine, looking wonderfully beautiful , and blessing all her devotees. People say that this is one of the biggest temples and effort is being made to make it one of the richest in the near future.

Rajeshwari Nagar also has in its vicinity, numerous engineering colleges like RNSIT (where I did my undergrad), JSSATE, SJBIT, RVCE, GATE, VIT etc. The parks at different stages of BEML Nagar are a definite reliever of stress for all the hostel students residing there. Not to disappoint the foodies are the mouth watering food joints like Delhi Chats, Cool Joint, Aman Rasoi, and Bansuri Sweets. Walking in the mango groves enjoying the marvellous breeze

and then a plate of Masala Mandakki or a special Bengali sweet or chat at Bansuri Sweets would make a perfect evening.

Overall, I can say that am proud to be a resident of such an awesome place. R R Nagar totally rocks !!!!

US of A!!!!

Reading my previous blog would have made it clear to many that I am in the US of A now. United States of America..Big words to describe a nation..unlike a five lettered word like India! And a BIG place indeed, though I am not sure whether that "unity" really exists in these states. Come next Sunday and it will be exactly a month since I landed in this "foreign" country. Recalling the day I set foot here, I was actually reactionless. Most of the student-friends who flew along with me were talking of calling cards already. Some were actually crying! I wondered when it would be my turn to become homesick. Fortunately untill now, I haven't experienced it. According to me, the real value of parents/friends shouldn't be felt only while we are away from them. And if anyone thought that I am used to staying away from my parents, u guys are wrong. This is the first time ever that I am so far away from my family and staying with roommates. Fifteen thousand miles away from home sweet home!! Well..,nothing great though. Technology has made it so favourable to connect to them anytime. So, no issues I feel. Still,there is this fact that there is no way I can shake a hand with someone physically now. Maybe this is where perseverance comes into picture, followed by determination to achieve what I am here for.

Coming to the point, there are many people who have asked me to describe my experiences, right from the day I stepped into the first flight. Lufthansa treated me well, except for a few minor issues of leg space and food. To be frank, the Vayu Vajra in "Namma Bengalooru" would have been more comfortable! But, owing to the fact that I couldn't afford a business class seat, I cannot really complain. The journey was not so exciting, but not bad either. Frankfurt was my first stop over. Its a beautiful place with much of the green space retained without exploitation. And yeah, Germans are beautiful. Bold and beautiful rather.(The word beautiful may be replaced by handsome for the opposite sex). Two and a half hours later, another Lufthansa flew me to Dallas. She pierced through the air at an altitude of over 40000 ft with a speed nearing 500mph. Yet, it took a solid ten and a half hours for me to reach my destination. Seriously, that was when I realized how vast our planet is! :)

Indian students from UTD had come for my pick up by the time I had landed. They gave me a glimpse of Richardson and its telecom sector on the way. First sight of my school was rather appealing. I could see the buildings amidst widespread greenery. Here and there were a few squirrels extra-large in size when compared to their Indian counterparts. What surprised me most was the sun still brightly smiling at 8:00 pm in the night. Never knew Americans did so much of daylight saving! From the day I came in,I had one week before my classses started. A seven day off from classrooms was considered blissful back in India. Conversely, I waited for school to begin here, since i knew only a handful of people with whom I could hang out. And life just doesn't move on without a computer. So, initially I had to put up with the 'handicapped days' of no-phone, no-laptop, not-much-contact with the rest of the world, which is a striking contrast to my character of socailizing with more and more people.

Fast forward,its been two weeks since I entered the "back to school" days. Believe me, the very first day was enough for us to get digging into our books. I remembered one of my seniors' words that getting a masters degree is as tough to tread as on the edge of a razor. Assignments and projects are making their presence felt eventually, and all I can say is life is not at all easy. Added to this is the part time job of cooking, cleaning the house, shopping, working etc etc. I sometimes get a feeling that we could get another degree in home science!! However,looking at it in a different sense, this life is making me more responsible. Its all about time management. So, no complaints.

The other side of college days-Fun also has its share parallely alongside studies. It was a great feeling to celebrate "Ganesh Chathurthi" in the most traditional pattern which included doing the vrat,performing bhajans,hogging a typical Indian feast, and immersing the Lord's idol in a lake the next day. My first trip to Downtown Dallas and ISKCON temple yesterday were indeed satisfying.(For pictures, see my orkut account).We also had this cultural event called "Fall Bash" organized by and for freshmen of 2009. Participating in various events, such as singing (in languages we have never spoken before!), walking the ramp for the fashion show, tapping our feet to the tunes of DJ night was a truly memorable experience.

Summing it all up, America is treating me in a way different from the desi life. No doubt it is difficult staying away from near and dear ones and managing everything by myself. But,the optimistic feeling of becoming more independent is what is carrying me across. Personally, I never took America to be a fantasy while being in India. That mental preparation is kindof helping me out now. So,I feel its left to the individual to see life in whatever fashion he/she wants. The broader the perspective, the better.

"We must each find our separate meaning in the persuasion of our days until we meet in the meaning of the world." -Christopher Fry.

Plans for a Promising Future...

"Would you tell me which way I ought to go from here?" asked Alice.
"That depends a good deal on where you want to get" said the Cat.
"I really dont care where" replied Alice.
"Then it doesn't much matter which way you go" said the Cat.
-Lewis Carroll (novelist and poet), "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland"

While most kids have this wavering not-able-to-decide innocent mindset, there are others who might be pretty rigid in their decisions.Although it is agreed that there will be comparitively lesser number of people who plan their future way past in their childhood days, and actually achieve what they wanted to become , it wouldn't be a complete fiasco to find such people now. However, in most cases as in mine, it is destiny that is deciding what we are to become. And, I guess we have to owe this to the situations that indirectly shape our future goals.

If my previous lines sounded a little pessimistic, you are mistaken. Though I believe that "philosophical" words such as 'destiny', 'fate' or 'fortune' rule our lives to a certain extent, I am completely aware of the fact that hard work always leads to success. Innumerable are the instances where in one has put his mind and soul into achieving his long term goals. A multitude of living exemplaries like Dr. Devi Shetty, Mr. Narayan Murthy etc can be cited in this regard. In case of the former, it was his unflinching dedication coupled with a heart touching incident that made him take up the noble profession of saving others lives. His ailing father, who died of a cardiac arrest may be one of the reasons that made him vow to serve heart related ailments in others.

In this way, there may be several incidents that entrance someone into achieving something. But, we cant wait for a particular incident to happen so that it moves us first and then firm up our mind, can we..?
Well, contrary to the above illustration, there can be various situation dependant events that can act as 'spoilsport' in our path. Like, for example, a person dreaming of a career as a pilot and having an unrelentless decision about the same , can have all chances of developing a visual malady of high power! Owing to the current regulation that there is no scope for anyone else in the flying division other than the ones with perfect vision (not even the ones who have undergone Lasik surgery), what is the victim supposed to do?

So whats the solution? What can we deduce from the above? Obviously to find alternatives. Brooding over what bad has happened in the past does not solve the problem, but might worsen it. Having a blinkered vision, especially in a situation like today's recession, is not the key to success. The fall in economy contributes as a major source towards financial backwardness, but not as a backwardness of our existing intelligence to come up with alternatives. No doubt the economy is shaken, but not our spirits.

Obama puts forth this idea in a more convincing manner while addressing millions of people. "That we are in the midst of crisis is now well understood.Our nation is at war, against a far reaching network of violence and hatred. Our economy is badly weakened, as a consequence of greed and irresponsibility on the part of some, but also our collective failure to make hard choices and prepare the nation for a new age. Homes have been lost, jobs shed, businesses shuttered. Our health care is too costly, our schools fail too many, and each day brings further evidence that the way we use energy strengthen our adversaries and threaten our planet.

These are the indicators of crisis, from data and statistics.

On this day we gather because we have chosen hope over fear, unity of purpose over conflict and discord.
In re-affirming the greatness of our nation, we understand that greatness is never a given. It must be earned. Our journey has never been one of short cuts or settling for less. It has not been the path for the faint-hearted - for those who prefer leisure over work, or seek only the pleasures of riches or fame. Rather, it has been the risk-takers, the doers, the makers of things - some celebrated more often men and women obsure in their labor, who have carried us up the long, rugged path towards prosperity and freedom.

This is the journey we continue today. Our workers are no less productive than when this crisis began, our minds are no less inventive, our goods and services no less needed than they were last week or last month or last year. Our capacity remains undiminshed. But our time of standing pat, of protecting narrow interests and putting off unpleasant decisions - that time has surely passed. Starting today, we must pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and begin the work...."

These lines somewhat influenced me to shift my focus towards going for higher studies, which otherwise had been postoned for a year or so. In other words, it helped me find alternatives towards achieving a promising future. And now that I am preparing for the same, a sense of optimism lingers in me. I dont mind modifying the current situation to say that the recession happened to assist me pursue higher education right now. Similarly, I feel everyone can inculcate an optimistic view and interpret their adversaries as the coming up of something new and promising. Who knows what is instore for us, and why not think of it as something more beneficial than before? So, lets be more prepared to face such bizarre circumstances in our life. Let us emancipate ourselves from the wall that we have built around us, so that we can view the world from a broader perspective. After all, these kind of exigencies are a test of time and they ipso-facto have to slide back to normal. Nevertheless, failures are always the stepping stones to success, right...???